Mar 24, 2013

Horrendous Life

I was scrolling down my blog, reading my old posts when I accidentally read this:
Parents, problems, friends, fakes, boys, love, crush, dating, responsibility, drama, heartache, failures, stress, happiness; it's life.

And I recall everything, every problems I had, every memories I remember. And sadly, I don't feel anything except one feeling: disappointment. Maybe my life is pretty messed up that I don't even know what to feel. Or what to say, what to think, everything. 


And I don't even know what's right and what's wrong anymore. And it's hard not to give up when you look like a failure.



it'd be telling everyone what I feel about them.

Ungodly Hour

Have you ever felt so unwanted? And it feels like the whole world is denying you and everybody is leaving you. That everything is not exactly like it used to be, like you want it to be. And it just feels like you want to leave everything behind, give everything up, because all this is so not fair to you. And you want to fix it. But you don't know how. And even if you know how, you don't know if it'll work. All you know is that you want to be through with this and go back to what it used to be. Because your past is so much better than this.

I know, I'm too strong to give up. So I'm still holding on. I'm holding on to the people I love, to the things I love, to everything, that I look so pathetic. I have been my worst self lately. It's like I have a reminder in my head that reminds me every second of my life that I'm a mess. This isn't right. And the worst part is that you can't do anything about it. Maybe I can try and convince myself that it's all gonna be okay, but the truth is it isn't and it won't be okay.
This is too pointless.

I have too many things in my head. I have so much to say to everybody. But I just can't get the right words. I can't get anything right and it sucks. It sucks that I can't explain what I feel. It sucks that every time I want to explain everything, it just disappears. Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I'm not. Who knows? I don't even know anymore.

But you told me to hold on. So I guess I'd try. Happy birthday, A.


But it turns out some people can't be fixed...
- Caroline Forbes 

Mar 23, 2013

16-09-12

Jess' birthday surprise.

She IS clearly surprised. :P Too bad I didn't take any of her surprised face. HAHA.


Ayot - Shelley - Jess the birthday girl - me - Jessie Memet - Thyra Thea's sister




Jess and her mom



Candid. Weird candid.



Memet and me







We um caked her?

This, she was caked.



Too busy cleaning herself.




 As a bonus for scrolling to the end:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA whatever

xx.

Mar 21, 2013

Bizarre Things

Please enjoy my daily dose of camwhoreness.

At Pat's house for B. Indonesia assignment to record folklore stories.








New Year's Eve pictures, again, :P Oh yes, if you happen to wonder why most of the pictures have the same background, it's because I took them in my mom's bedroom where I always put my laptop. So now you know why.







CNY day 1 before going to Grandma's house. With dad.


When boredom attacks!




CNY day 8 after going to one of my mom's colleagues open house.


Please bare my monkey face.
Adios.